Hello Kitty Warrior-Type Creature

OK, I like Hello Kitty, but wow... um, I don't know WHAT to say to this? It's a Hello Kitty head attached to a pink soldier body and is well, lifesized. Oooookkkkkayyyy.....

First off, what in the world do you even do with this? Do you display it in your yard or in your living room? We live in an apartment so our place is kind of small. She'd take up a lot of space.

I imagine she'd be a great conversation piece, though. Or come to think of it, she might render our friends and family speechless (or breathless from laughing so hard). I can just picture my mother's face as she enters our home and spies this thing!

On the other hand, perhaps this Kitty soldier is the next best thing to having an alarm or an attack dog. If a burglar were to break in, he'd know that we have serious pink protection ... and we ain't playing games!

Or else he just might run because he thinks we're completely batsh-t and wants to save his own life...

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

I have no shame in admitting that I'm a crazy cat lady. I love cats. I think that they're the most wonderful, beautiful, amazing, fuzzy-wuzzy creatures out there and adore my cat, Maya, more than words can say. Yep, like I said, I am cah-rayyy-zeeee!!!!!

That said, I got a kick out of the Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure, which comes complete with six cats. She kind of reminds me of my good friend, Lani, who's already up to four. Whenever I call her, I hear a chorus of meows in the background ... though in my opinion, it's like listening to angels sing me a lullabye.

Seriously, if someone gave me this, I'd just laugh because it's perfect for me and is a great gift for cat lovers. And I think that most of my cat-loving friends would appreciate it, as well. I mean, we have Spider Man and G.I. Joe action figure, why not a Crazy Cat Lady? Truth be told, she probably represents the masses more than either of those guys!

My one critique -- six cats really isn't enough to make her a full-fledged crazy cat lady. I think she needs more, like, 10. And she should also be wearing a cat T-shirt and one of those knit caps with the little cat eats sewn in. THEN we're talking true over-the-top cat nuttiness!

Valentine's Day Degree

Since Valentine's Day is right around the corner, I figured I'd start with some gifts honoring this holiday of love.

Here we have a Valentine's Day Diploma. WTF? I'm sorry, but I just don't get this. I mean, is it supposed to be a substitute for a card? Because if it is, it sucks. Not to all those guys out there, don't give this thing in lieu of a card. If you're going to get it, give it WITH a real card. And flowers. And jewelry. It's just a little plain and sterile looking to really be romantic and the joke, well, it's not that funny.

I suppose it works as a good gag gift if you, say, have a boyfriend or girlfriend who's always forgetting the holiday and then suddenly remembers and presents you with the most romantic Valentine's Day ever. I guess then that person might qualify for this degree. But other than that, really, who'd even think of this? There are many stranger and more exciting novelty gag gifts out there.

I have to admit, though, I'm a bit curious as to what a Valentine's Degree would involve. Would you receive credits? Would Dr. Love be one of the professors? Would you have to write answers to your exams on those tiny candy hearts with the words on them? You know, now that I'm bothering to think about this (it''s 1 a.m. as I write this and I've had a bit of wine today so work with me here), Valentine's U could be fun!

Welcome To Naomi's Novelties!

Though I'm about to turn 36 in a couple of weeks, I often have the mentality of a 12-year-old -- which explains why I love novelty gifts and gag gifts so much. Some of them are so obscene, I'm shocked that someone actually have the guts to create and market them. Some are so absurd that I can't help but roll my eyes. But almost all are just plain funny ... and we can all use a few laughs, right?

Nearly every novelty item that I've given as a gift has been success. My best guy friend loved the funky "BUTT/FACE" towel and matching soap that I gifted him for his birthday. Meanwhile, my closest gal pal still has fond stories about the little click button she used to own as a teen that would tell you to, "Eat sh--t," or "F-ck off." Fun times! Of course, you have to be a little careful about who you give a novelty item or gag gift to. Want to give a "Poo Pen" to your immature older brother? Go for it, he'll love it. But your uptight Aunt Myrtle ... probably not so much. The idea is to make people laugh, not offend.

In this blog, I'll be sharing and reviewing the silliest, strangest, dirtiest and most inane products I can find. Feel free to share your own opinions on novelty gifts and to alert me of anything worth talking about!